Monday, May 30, 2011

A reflection on yesterday & today...

While reflecting on what Memorial Day means to me, I found myself giving thanks for all that I have today, due to the hardships & lives lost in years past, fighting for what we all enjoy as our Freedom as Americans.  While that should have been my only thinking today, I found myself also thinking about these last few days.  If you want to skip to where I get to the point of my rambling, skip to the blue paragraphs.

I didn't post to my blog yesterday because it was my daughter's 6th birthday.  She had a great day.  Josh took Lexi & Ashelyn to the pool in the morning, and we had some great friends over for a BBQ.  We ended the night with some cheap fireworks from the store - but the kids loved it.  Wish I had a picture of my girls and our friends' kids all lined up along the bottom of our driveway, watching the display.  It lasted all of five minutes, but they were so excited to see it.  It's the little things.

Yesterday I really was very lax on my eating.  I had pancakes with my kids in the morning, didn't really have much for lunch, had a salad with Morningstar burger for dinner.  I had angel food cake with berries and whipped cream....and had cake later in the night.  Also - beer!  I felt kind of yuck when I woke up this morning.  I was up more than half the night because I couldn't sleep.  When I got up in the morning, my back was hurting pretty badly - mainly due to being on my feet prepping food yesterday, and the poor eating, I'm sure.
Back to my reflection.  Even though I had a few indulgences yesterday, it was spread throughout the day, while I had healthier options added in.  I did not feel guilty about "cheating" or messing up my nutritional plan.

Today, however, was different.  I started my day with a Shakeology with added kale.  KK spit it out but Ashelyn loved it.  I was satisfied for a few hours, and did not eat lunch until we came home from the pool.  I made another southwest salad (from leftovers) - YUM!  however, after that, I got back into Lexi's cake.  It had melted so I ended up throwing it away, but not before I took several bites *and* had a leftover cupcake.  Totally unnecessary - and beyond the point of "all things in moderation", that's for sure.

That leads me to my whole point - following the novel I just wrote.  After I had the sugary foods this afternoon, I felt awful.  Sleepy, slow, bloated & irritable.  Also, a little queasy.  My stomach hurt (didn't help that I was out in the blazing sun for a few hours at the pool this morning) and I wanted to curl up into a ball and go to sleep.  Instead I tried to sit down and study.  That was almost a joke.  I kept falling asleep while listening to one of my fundamentals.  Now, if I had skipped the sugary, processed dessert food - and maybe have opted for a Larabar or fruit, since I clearly wanted something sweet, I'd have had much more energy to devote to my studies and to my entire afternoon without that sugar crash that I experienced.  I know that when I avoid those foods, my energy stays level.  My blood sugar levels don't spike then crash, leaving me feeling exhausted.

I am really looking forward to documenting how I feel both with and without sugar.  I would like to avoid refined sugar as much as my emotions will allow without losing control and going on a binge (which is why I still have those sweets sometimes...I am just terrified of too much restriction which will lead me to lose control of my decisions with food).  I do know that today was a very disappointing day.  Not only did I get very tired and experience that crash...but I also felt an almost immediate bloat right to my stomach.

Listening to Michael Pollan this afternoon during one of my Institute for Integrative Nutrition fundamentals, I stopped to think about some of my misconceptions and my attitudes towards things I accept as truth and commonplace from the industry leaders, media, etc in terms of dietary supplements, nutrients, and whole foods.  More to come on that later.  I think I have kept you all long enough tonight with this essay that seems to be jumping all over the place...

Thanks for reading.  Once again, I appreciate your support, your love, and the motivation you all give me to keep sharing.  I hope you will continue on this journey with me - through Summit, and through my time at IIN.

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